Modern Applications of Demonic Powers
– From the journals of Kos’shei the Immportal –
“…I will, without an iota of remorse, say that Professor Hemlock is a fool. If it were up to me – if I, say, sat on the board of directors of the Oxford College for Applied Sorcery; I would strip him of all his academic accolades and send him on an indefinite sabbatical to the Ural mines where he, amid the hard-drinking and straight-talking dwarves, would learn a thing or two about the realities of the world. The demagogue heresy of his so-called paper, ‘The Modern Applications of Demonic Powers’, is evident to anyone with any basic understanding of how demonic powers work and are distributed.
Firstly, Hemlock, from his rotting cottage in the filthy English countryside, relies almost exclusively on centuries-old information on the very demons and powers he aims to quantify, citing only one modern example – that of the Nuclear demon (who isn’t actually a single entity, but rather a conglomerate of sub-atomic demons grouped together by frail human minds [Personal Note: must remember to send the boys this paper, they were quite angered by Hemlock’s drivel at our last meeting]). How a study written and published in 2003 can be hinged only on considerations of such ancient entities as Greed, Violence, Deception etc., is beyond me.
To debunk and discredit the old fool and his ramblings, one needs only to attend the yearly conference on the Bald Mountain. I cant help but imagine the shock Hemlock would experience when he sees the modern class of demons landing in their private jets, disembarking from their Bentleys and wearing Armani suits. It is not the purpose of this text to give a complete summary of modern demons, such a pursuit would be in vain due to their ever multiplying quantities, but I shall, for the benefit of the unenlightened reader, list but a few of these entities that gained significant power in the last half-century: the demon of Advertising, the demon of Coca-Cola, the demon of Hedge Funding, the demon of Solar Power, etc. The list, as one can see, can go on almost forever.
The second dire error in Hemlock’s paper can be found in his claim that a demon of a particular concept is the sole bearer of that concept’s power and that this power is non-transferrable, in a sense that when a particular power is invoked, the corresponding demon is directly involved. How such a thesis was approved for publication by an institution of Applied Sorcery, once again, eludes me. The blunt and simple truth of the matter is that a demon’s power can be tapped by any mage or shaman with the right formulas and the right equipment. The demon becomes instantly aware of this, let’s call it, use of his being, but in many cases is powerless to prevent this use due to the counter-magicks that are usually put in place (Personal note: this leads me to believe that Hemlock is not only a fool, but also a worthless warlock, since the case studies he employs in his work are blatant examples of counter-magicks being NOT put in place).
Without miring this text down in examples of something so trivial, I will put forward one case study that illustrates the fault of Hemlock’s paper:
1994, Russian Federation forces are engaged in bloody conflict in Chechnya. The Chechen rebels are amply aided by tribal shamanism and corporate magicks from the West. A detachment of battlemages from the Institute is dispatched to the mountain republic to provide support to the Russian troops. Finding themselves lacking required materials for the successful counteractions of rebel spells and enchantments, the mages, under the command of Commodore Second Class Stepashin (Hero of the Russian Federation, post-humously), employ a rather clever mechanism to aid our troops, using one of the most available resources – Coca Cola cans. A simple binding formula is inscribed onto the full can, tapping the immense power of the corporate demon – who by his Western origins is in direct oppositions to all Slav sorceries. The equation used is brilliant in its simplicity – Stepashin’s mages combined the expansive nature of compressed carbon dioxide contained in the drink and its dehydrating properties with the immense reach of the corporation’s advertising and distribution, adding to it a simple counter-enchantment that protected all those wearing Federated uniforms. These cans, now turned into demonic grenades, were handed out to the frontline troops. The positive role of this simple device – which when thrown at a target killed all living things within a 100-meter radius with instant heart failue without damaging any structures – is recorded in dozens of verbal testimonies of Russian soldiers…”